I heart U

Currently listening to: Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

Tadi malam di tengah hiruk pikuk sedu sedanku,

sempat terpikir alangkah enaknya

jika yang namanya perasaan itu punya tombol ON dan OFF..................

I wish sekarang ini aku bisa ngeklik tombol itu ke OFF

I wish...

I wish.........

Masih Ada

Currently listening to: Andra & the Backbone - Hitamku

Aku hidup di masa kini bukan di masa lalu dan bukan juga di masa yang akan datang.

Aku selalu percaya bahwa seseorang hari ini adalah kumulatif darinya di hari-hari sebelumnya. Itulah mengapa aku tak pernah menyesali masa lalu, pun menilai seseorang dari masa lalunya.

But I guess that's just me. Bagi orang-orang di sekitarku, masa lalu ternyata sangat krusial, apalagi untuk seseorang dengan masa lalu yang memalukan seperti aku...

Tahukah kamu rasanya menjadi aku?

Berjuang melawan diri sendiri, berusaha maju meninggalkan hantu-hantu masa lalu, berusaha menjadi lebih baik (walau aku sadar aku tidak akan pernah jadi sempurna).

Dan ketika aku mencapai sesuatu, ketika aku bisa membuktikan sesuatu, pekerjaan ku belum selesai. Aku masih harus berjuang untuk dapat bertahan, berusaha tetap optimis di tengah terjangan caci maki dan penilaian-penilaian negatif, berusaha meyakinkan diri bahwa aku masih berharga, berusaha mempercayai bahwa hidup ku masih punya arti....

Somewhere I belong

Currently listening to: Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away

I used to think

I did not belong,

no space to call mine.

I was lost

it seemed,

but I was wrong.

I know now that I belong;

I know now that I have a place.

I have a place in your arms;

I have a place in your heart.

I belong with you;

I belong to you;

I belong.

I have a place…

and I want you to belong;

there is a place,

here... in my heart,

here... with me,

that waits for you.

will you take it

and make me whole?

Dawn Devotion

Life isn't a journey. It's a walk with God

[ disappear ]

Currently listening to: Beyonce Knowles - Disappear

One moment

You were there...

Touching my face

Caressing my skin

Kissing my breath

...and all of a sudden

Your shadow vanishes

Like stars...

Falling into the sky

Like mist...

Dissipating in the wind

.:: nYanYiaN HaTi ::.

Currently listening to: Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

wandering soulmate

that’s who you are

where are you now

are you still far?

embrace my soul

and heal this scar

my heart for you

is still ajar

P.e.L.a.N.G.i

Currently listening to: The Carpenter - Close to you


And when you see the rainbow flying in the wind
know that my smile carries itself to your doorstep
and gently evaporates in the sky
together with the twinkle of the evening stars…

- FreaK -

Currently listening to: Duran Duran - Undone

Perfect picture

Perfect mess

Broken fracture

Am I now less?

. T . o . R . n .

Currently listening to: Muse - Hysteria

It just died

That tickle I once had for you

That smell of a rosebud

I inhale each time you’re near

It just died

My longing desire to taste your lips

That soft gentle fragrance like a babies’ breath

The one I yearned for, the one I craved

It just died

My dreams for you

My sweet tender longing

It just died, tonight, it died…

Original Sin

Currently listening to: Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

Aku sedang mencintai seseorang diam-diam

Bahkah desah nafasnya pun, aku tahu

Tapi bayangku yang berkelebat di hatinya

Mendesau seperti semilir angin

Menghempas daun, jatuh ke tanah…

- happy V.a.L.e.N.T.i.N.e -

Currently listening to: Sioen - Cruisin'

Sweet longing kisses

I feel on your skin

Sent from my window

Blown out by the wind

My soft gentle yearning

It touches your dreams

Stretched out in the sky

Forever, it means...

My Fallen Star

Currently listening to: Beyonce Knowles - HALO

Are you that far

Or just near by

For if you are

Why aren’t you mine?

Stollen Kisses

Currently listening to: Trentemoller – Miss You

Finally, I saw a ghost last night (actually, it's already dawn) in my room.
The black shadow walked out thru the door. All of a sudden, that evil choked my neck and bent my head to the wall. In the midst of the quarrel, I wept for a help from my Saviour and He brought me to life…

I woken up from my dream and heard a tender morning devotion prayer from the big Mosque near by our apartment. I said to my self, “what a dream… a nice way to kick start the day!”.

Anyway, I don’t want to write more about my first (hopefully will be the last) experience of horrible nightmare. I owe to post “stolen kiss” for my buddy. So, here it goes…

How would you feel if someone stole a kiss from you?
What do you do if you suddenly find yourself blushing after catching someone’s eyes on you?
Do you duck under the table with cheeks burning or do you simply embrace the flattery and let your soul dance with the wind?

Unfortunately, I haven’t experience not a single stolen kiss. Thus, I don’t know how it feels.

For my buddy out there, don't be shame cause you are not the only person on earth who had experienced the first stolen kiss but I believe you are the only one who experienced it in the pedicab (Guys, could you please find another romantic place next time or could you please hold on until you find a perfect place to do it? *sigh*)


Btw, I got some tips of How to Steal a Kiss from another buddy of mine:

1. Sneak up on her/him very slowly and surprise her/him
2. Act really cute and innocent
3. Then when she/he's not expecting it.....slap a big wet one on her lips

According to my buddy, this isn't the first time he stolen one. So, it's been proved.
Anybody want to share the experience (read: the extreme one) of the first stolen kisses?

Ah, naughty me :-)

Making Choices

Currently listening to: KoRn – Got the Life

Life used to be so simple.

Katanya semakin kita dewasa, semakin bagus kita mengambil keputusan. Ironisnya semakin kita dewasa pilihan-pilihan yang ada semakin sedikit. Banyak tuhan-tuhan kecil yang (kita biarkan?) mengekang hidup kita dan karenanya membutuhkan kita untuk memilih satu dan mengorbankan lainnya.

Aku benci tuhan-tuhan kecil. Mereka hadir tanpa kita minta. Menuntut kita ini itu padahal kita tidak lahir dari rahim mereka. Dan yang paling aku benci adalah membatasi opsi-opsi yang ada sehingga kita harus membuat keputusan yang sama merugikannya.

Waktu kuliah aku berhadapan dengan puluhan mahluk seperti itu dan aku berjanji pada diri untuk tidak membiarkan orang lain membatasi pilihan-pilihan ku. Tidak akan ada lagi tuhan-tuhan kecil dalam hidupku.

My life is mine.

I create the options. And I make the decisions.

My regrets and victories are of my own responsibility.

And yet tuhan-tuhan kecil itu hadir lagi (read: this past few days).

Dalam bentuk yang lain, dan menuntut hal lain.

Ya Tuhan, berilah aku kekuatan menentukan pilhan.

Sesungguhnya hidup ini dijalani untuk mencari ridhoMu.

Bantu aku mencarinya.

Denting Berdentang

Currently listening to: Incubus – I Miss You

Denting berdentang

mengolah nada hingga kali ke 12

setelah itu, berhenti ia mendentang

Namun kau tak kunjung datang jua

Sua tak ingin bertemu

Karena ia takut dimadu

Apa sebenarnya yang buat kau terlambat

Telah didentingkan dentang banyak kali

Namun tak jua kau kunjung datang

Suara angin hanya tinggal hembusan

tidak terdengar riuh orang bersahut-sahutan

penanda subuh telah tiba

Mungkin sebentar lagi burung kan berkicau

gantikan dendang dentingmu

Sementara lonceng itu akan terus diam di tempatnya

menunggu saat nya ia mendendangkan dentingnya

Kan ditunggunya dengan sabar

Saat saat dentingmu harus terdengar sekali lagi

Sekali lagi

dan sekali lagi

berulang-ulang

...